It's never about the pancakes.

I honestly don’t know where I belong anymore. My (now ex) best-friend has all but vanished from my life, saying that I demanded too much attention of him (and hell, aren’t best friends supposed to give each other attention? I was being all out ignored by him, of course I would want some attention. But I guess that friendship was too much of a burden on him, so I gave up. But that’s another story.) and now he’s gone off and joined a clique in the theatre of a good ten or so people, that I’m completely excluded from. I tried venturing out into other groups, but I don’t have a place there either. It takes a long time to build those bonds, and I can’t see myself filling any spots there anyways. I’m lucky to have the few people that do actual care, but it isn’t the same. I don’t share the connections with those people that I had elsewhere. God. I can honestly say that I wish I had never left SW. The people there would have never turned their backs on me like the so-called friends I have here. All-in-all, I don’t fit in anywhere. Even my boyfriend, who I love with all of my heart, is thousands of miles away from me, and although I know he tries, he tries with all his might, it just doesn’t fill the void. I’m now resorting to desperately trying to contact old friends and spending hours doing absolutely nothing. I’ve even lost sight of my passions. Theatre is no longer a place where I find myself happy, and though I still love acting, I can’t be around those people. I’ve lost all motivation to sculpt or draw, and the only songs I want to sing are sad. I’ve lost control of my life and I’m completely lost.